my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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