we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
areolas are like halos for boobs.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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