So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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