ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm bleeding and have questions
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
