After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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