i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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