i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Randomize
