White coat. Heels.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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