We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
