ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
