He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
