i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
