I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
