did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
