She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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