This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.