i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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