her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
