How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
