butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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