True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dear god my vagina.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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