How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
