Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
