well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize