Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
