margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
