Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize
