were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
