never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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