you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
