i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You left your phone here
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