I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
