Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag

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(317): View more from Indiana

Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(253): View more from Washington

We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�

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(404): View more from Georgia

why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?

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(443): View more from Maryland

I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls

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