Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Welp...herpes.

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  (614): Welp...herpes. http://tfl.nu/xa8l
  Replies (28) Good night (691) Bad night (6275)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.

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  (616): those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them. http://tfl.nu/w7ab
  Replies (11) Good night (5458) Bad night (1093)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.

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  (210): I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you. http://tfl.nu/z9fg
  Replies (34) Good night (1307) Bad night (13453)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested

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  (217): Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested http://tfl.nu/xgcc
  Replies (3) Good night (2642) Bad night (794)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.

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  (337): Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night. http://tfl.nu/5kyl
  Replies (36) Good night (6875) Bad night (2538)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.

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  (484): She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that. http://tfl.nu/ceu5
  Replies (24) Good night (4592) Bad night (1489)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.

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  (715): I will also be strapping forties to the puppies. http://tfl.nu/upgh
  Replies (14) Good night (2348) Bad night (1577)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.

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  (937): The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull. http://tfl.nu/s2w2
  Replies (8) Good night (3643) Bad night (1056)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.

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  (509): walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her. http://tfl.nu/knz9
  Replies (9) Good night (5915) Bad night (841)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.

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  (207): Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far. http://tfl.nu/heu3
  Replies (16) Good night (2111) Bad night (1103)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool

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  (919): Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool http://tfl.nu/1a3e
  Replies (1) Good night (930) Bad night (739)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.

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  (609): I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out. http://tfl.nu/kpzq
  Replies (2) Good night (354) Bad night (820)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?

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  (780): Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night? http://tfl.nu/co1o
  Replies (0) Good night (666) Bad night (349)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.

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  (603): The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open. http://tfl.nu/aj17
  Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (195)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.

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  (814): I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had. http://tfl.nu/5qob
  Replies (3) Good night (284) Bad night (1059)

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