lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?