I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
You're right, stupid question.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you