Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her

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  (443): when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her http://tfl.nu/gfqm
  Replies (123) Good night (744) Bad night (2568)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.

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  (484): I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today. http://tfl.nu/rr17
  Replies (18) Good night (4522) Bad night (893)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..

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  (913): Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one.. http://tfl.nu/0qqy
  Replies (9) Good night (4309) Bad night (1259)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.

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  (856): Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/fxno
  Replies (33) Good night (1105) Bad night (8465)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.

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  (256): smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick. http://tfl.nu/bhlk
  Replies (37) Good night (4783) Bad night (1278)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?

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  (832): Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities? http://tfl.nu/5gd1
  Replies (33) Good night (1026) Bad night (7122)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.

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  (281): Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute. http://tfl.nu/xxsd
  Replies (12) Good night (3678) Bad night (908)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone

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  (609): I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone http://tfl.nu/cpqs
  Replies (5) Good night (1694) Bad night (927)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.

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  (216): There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us. http://tfl.nu/2y42
  Replies (4) Good night (1739) Bad night (719)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.

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  (859): If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference. http://tfl.nu/hvve
  Replies (4) Good night (2665) Bad night (683)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.

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  (240): This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn. http://tfl.nu/cv1s
  Replies (3) Good night (406) Bad night (648)
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  (408): View more from California

  I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not

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  (408): I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not http://tfl.nu/5y8f
  Replies (2) Good night (591) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.

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  (423): I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. http://tfl.nu/bl1t
  Replies (5) Good night (688) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.

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  (918): Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art. http://tfl.nu/zfiz
  Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....

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  (570): I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are.... http://tfl.nu/bp2s
  Replies (6) Good night (552) Bad night (318)

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