Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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