I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
