Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We are all done wearing pants today
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
