That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
