Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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