Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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