He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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