I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize