Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
