The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
