Banned from zoo.
Again?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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