Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
