I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
