Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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