Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Randomize
