i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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