this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
