I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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