forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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