Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
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He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
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No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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