she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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