Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize