I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
