gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
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Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
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Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
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