You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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