He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
