I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
