i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
and eventually we just all took our pants off
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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