it wasn't lemon gatorade
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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